Tomorrow I am looking to do a review of the activities I have been doing for a while!

But today I want to talk about love.

I’m going through a rough patch right at this moment with my partner. Or ex-partner now? It’s so recent that I am not really sure.

This actually led me to this excellent article on the books that I must read for a good relationship by Mark Manson.

And since I am all about habits, I realise even while reading from these books that loving someone is also about the habits of loving.

The house I grew up in, we did not have grand gestures to express love. We knew we loved each other because we were always there for each other. We would shout, bicker, fight, but we would always have our meals together and watch TV together.

There have been tough times, sure, but the love didn’t go away.

The person I have been dating wants me to express more love. And I don’t really have the habit to do so. Does this mean that I can’t learn to do so? Absolutely not! The one thing that I have learnt is that habits can be adapted to suit the environment or the situation.

But does it mean it is easy? No it isn’t. Sometimes it is hard to just accept that I might not love someone the way they want me to.

I would think, “Hey I love you in my own way. Take it or leave it!”

But then am I really giving my partner the experience of love they deserve? We both have to develop an understanding and reach out halfway.

Being in a relationship is work, and when the early honeymoon period sheen wears off, we are going to need the routines of love to make it work.

This may make it sound boring and perhaps not as exciting, but I think this is the true work of love. Learning how to love someone even as you get to see their follies and their foibles.

The books that I am currently perusing through to understand these things better are

1. Getting the Love you Want by Harville Hendrix
2. Hold me tight by Dr. Sue Johnson
3. Models by Mark Manson

I want you to reflect on how you like being loved and love other people as well. Maybe just a few habit tweaks could change your life!