There isn’t really an algorithm for making choices, is there? Or if there is one, it must be flawed. You can’t really create an artificial algorithm that simulates all of human desires, wants and needs. Or is there? Because that would explain why I spend so much money on products from Amazon and Flipkart.

I have a tough time making choices. Choices are the worst. You are clearly confronted with a philosophical fork in the road. You have got to choose which way to go, which then necessarily defines the rest of your life. The weight of the lives then seems to weigh me down, crushing me and making me realise what a momentous choice I am about to make. A life that could’ve been asserts all its weight on me, telling me about all the wondrous things I may or may not have seen.

It’s debilitating. Because you’re the only one who will witness that life you never chose. All those imagined peaks and troughs are very real in the moments before making that choice. Whatever that choice may be, it is quite distressing to know how much power you have to create your own destiny. How much valuable your decision to do something might be to your own life and to the lives of people around you.

To witness that power in the moment of choice is distressing.

I write about this because I am currently at this fictional fork in the road. The cynyassy is kinda taking off. Well, in my head he is. But I have a choice to make, continue this or choose to do something that might not be so relevant to my work. Hard choice. I can see the life I will let go of to choose the life I covet. But then, it has to be done, right?

The cynyassy has to learn a hard lesson. About life and choices.